Can't we all just get along?

I may realize this to be mean spirited and regret writing it… but this is how I feel right now. Please don’t take it to heart.

Do you ever get a bad feeling about someone when you meet them or right after talking to them? Though this rarely happens to me, El is one of those people. My avoidance of him is not due to shyness or my lack of curiosity, but rather my immediate distrust and suspicion. I hoped against odds that we could live comfortably under one roof; this is not happening.

I suppose this suspicion is due to El’s ability to sneak up on you and scream in you ear while you’re cooking over a hot stove; lets not forget that neanderthal wig he wears for a the bonus distortion on your face when he “gets you good.” This is something a 10 year old would do. He also howls, openly demands for attention and disrespects others. Sorry… make that a mischievous 10 year old depesperately in need of some decipline.

El is not 10, his son is closer to being 10 than he is. Yes, his son, still back in El Salvador with his ex-girlfriend. I found his behaviour more and more disturbing after knowing this.

Yesterday (Valentines day) J had her beautiful new girlfriend over for dinner. They had just sat down to eat when El decided it would be a good time to tell J to take out the garbage for tomorrow's pickup, adding that J does not do enough work around the house. J went on to argue that he does plenty around the house, but he will gather all the garbage and leave it at the front door. El persisted that J take all the garbage outside that night (so racoons can get at them right?).

Nevermind what they said, it was inappropriate of him to interupt their dinner, especially one that J has been preparing for since last week. El stormed up to his room.

J called me over, “I can’t believe this guy, why is he so hard to get along with?”
“I don’t know.” I replied, “just take out the garbage, no big deal.”
“but see, some people just don’t appriciate the stuff you do for them.” Said J. “when my computer broke down, I gave him all my spare parts and software, and he’s still being difficult.”

I went back to the TV just in time to see El come down from his room with some computer speakers and wires in his arms. He placed the items on the dining room table where they were eating. I tried my best to ignore this drama. Drama drama drama, don’t do it, don’t like it.

J and his gal went downstairs. El stayed behind to watch American Idol with me.
“that singer is Chineee!” he said, “is that jou brother?” followed my ridiculous laughter.
…What do you respond to that?

I’ve reached the point where I can’t stand to be in his company. If he touched my arm, I’d involuntarily flinch. I know how horrible that sounds, but how can a grown man with all this responsibility in life turn out to be so completely irrational and lax? Doesn’t he feel guilty for not supporting his son or even contacting him for months on end? My aggravation for him is confusing, unexpalinable, maybe even unreasonable… he is one of only few to have this affect on me. I cannot shake it off, but if find a way to, knowing El would have taught me something valuable about myself.