What is the deal?

I have to get this out. What is the deal with men?! Don’t get me wrong, I love men, most of my friends are men, but with more exposure to them comes increased confusion and frustration. In person, they are perfect specimens; but the other times…
I think men’s sense of priority can change instantaneously (this would explain why my job is so all-over-the-place). As soon as they are not looking you in the face, their attention diverges to something, anything else.

“The men, rely mainly on their vision to detect danger and potential females. Their primary food source consists of pizza and beer.”

I should correct myself, their priority does not change instantaneously; it’s more like a count down after you leave their sight. 10…9… “I miss you and I’ll call you soon”…8…7… “yup, gonna call her”…6…5… “hungry, sleepy”…4…3… “Sh*t, I said I’d call her didn’t I”…2…1 “AHH forget it.” You. Bastards. I didn’t really want you to call me in the first place, but if you’re going to repeatedly tell me you will, then am I crazy to expect you to actually call? Is this some kind of ego trip to see if you can get my number? Because instead of having any desire to see you again, I’m just going to leave town and never come back!! Uhhh…hypothetically speaking of course.

For all such men out there, go away and leave me alone.